Kintsugi Company
None of us wants to think about these questions — oh how I wish I had an invisible bubble I could shield myself in so I didn’t have to think about any of this! Even typing the questions I felt fear well and swell in my belly. But if we’re wise, we choose to go there, to actually strategize.
I’m not who I was. But truly I’ve not been her for about a year-and-a-half now. I started warrior training when I was forced to fight for my family (especially my children) when a woman I trusted turned on me and undermined my standing with my kids. I was determined to defend and draw my family back together, and found a warrior rising from deep down, becoming equipped to do whatever it took to restore us.
When you live in fear (and sometimes terror) daily for a long time, the idea of being intimidating seems a very distant one. Even now I’m generally not someone who likes confrontation; I only confront people when I deem it necessary. Even then I’m usually shaking and very nervous because it’s so far out of my comfort zone. But I do not want to be unjustifiably disrespected either. I also do not want to see others who can’t defend themselves harmed or disrespected. So when it’s necessary I do speak up against injustice.
Going to classes some weeks later I realized I opened, not a Pandora’s Box but a Treasure Trove: I awakened a long-squashed confidence. I dusted off some self-esteem, I really believed I was worth defending. I was — and am — valuable. Not for what I can contribute to this world, but just because I’m alive. I pulled a brassy bit of boldness out next, realizing for the first time in forever I’m not an underdog. My voice matters. A cluster of pearls glows gently, heart humility — I can listen and truly honor the person in front of me, for we are equals here. Ah, and the fine fabric of a teachable heart and mind. There’s so much to learn, so much I want to know!
What we all seem to have in common (whether her busyness looks like 5 kids under the age of 5, busy working mom with kids in school, wife and mother and executive, single 20-something with a new job, new apartment, pile of bills, you name it), basically…